You Can't Prove They Don't Exist

7/30/2009

#69 Continuity

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/continuity.html
OK, so at the end of episode III, Obi-Wan Kenobi is, what, 30? Luke is born then and turns up as, say, 18 in Episode IV, right? So that should make Obi-Wan 48 when he meets Luke. But he looks to be mid-60s. Huh, yeah. It does't really work, does it? GL originally wrote Obi-Wan to be 70 or 80 for ANH because he was supposed to be the mentor who died of old age but then killed him off and created Yoda for that storyline instead. When he started on TPM, he ret-conned Obi-Wan so that he was younger all along. Who the hell are you? I am a Jedi Knight. We defend the universe from injustice, evil and apparent continuity errors in the Star Wars storyline. How's that pay? Not great. I have to moonlight at Denny's.

Disclaimer: The explanation in panel 3 was lifted almost verbatim from this discussion.

Also, a list of Klingon forehead explanations.



 


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 7/27/2009

#68 Seeing Things

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/seeing-things.html
I just saw a ghost! I was just about to fall asleep when I saw this woman in a flowing white robe. She was standing there asking for help. When I tried to speak to her, she disappeared. No, see, that was just a hypnagogic hallucination. It's a vivid, dreamlike hallucination that occurs when you're falling asleep. A lot of people have those. So, I shouldn't go looking for this Obi-Wan Kenobi guy, then? No, that's just asking for trouble.



 


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 7/22/2009

#67 Rational

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/rational.html




 


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 7/20/2009

#66 Crop Circles

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/crop-circles.html




 


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 7/16/2009

#65 Tree Lobster and the Half-Assed Trick

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/tree-lobster-and-half-assed-trick.html
What's with the Harry Potter getup? It turns out I have the gift of divination. Oh really. It's true! Arrange some cards face down and name one for me to find. OK, seven of hearts. First, I must call the spirits to guide my wand. Reductio ad absurdum! This one! This one. This one. This one. This one? This one? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. This worked so much better in practice with the cards face-up. Imagine that.



 


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 7/13/2009

#64 Wishful Thinking

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/wishful-thinking.html
I've been reading 'The Secret'. It says that by thinking positive thoughts, I can manipulate the energy fields of the universe and bend them to my will. Which energy fields? Electromagnetic? Gravitational? Weak nuclear? Strong nuclear? Um, it doesn't say. Just that I can use my thoughts to attract what I desire. Oh, I see. So, do you need to do that while looking at the first star of the evening? If you're not going to take this seriously... Maybe it'd help if you had a pet cricket who sings tenor.



 


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 7/09/2009

#63 Six Degrees of Godwin

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/six-degrees-of-godwin.html
OK, here's one: 'FDA Recommends Vicodin Ban' Hmm... The FDA wants to ban Vicodin... ...but they approved Aspirin... ...which is made by Bayer... ...which, in 1956, had Fritz ter Meer as chairman... ...who served 7 years in prison for being a Nazi war criminal. I stand in awe. Thank you, thank you.




 


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 7/06/2009

#62 The Future's So Bright

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/futures-so-bright.html
Greetings! I come from the future to warn you of a grave disaster. In 2257, Epsilon Phoenicis 4 will be destroyed by a supernova unless you counteract it using purple matter. So, a planet I've never heard of will be destroyed sometime long after I'm dead unless we prevent it using something else I've never heard of, right? That's the gist of it, yes. Not really useful information,is it. How about telling me how to stop global warming? Oh, don't worry about that. Al Gore will invent a solar-powered molecular laser next year to take care of that. Great! The only side effect is this lens flare thing. I was going to ask about that.



 


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 7/04/2009

#61 Aphelion

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/aphelion.html
Happy Aphelion! That's getting old.



 


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 7/02/2009

#60 By Any Other Name

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/07/by-any-other-name.html
MY COMPANY'S IN TROUBLE. WE CONTRIBUTED TO THE COLLAPSE OF THE HOUSING MARKET ...AND OUR MAJOR PRODUCT CAUSES BOTH CANCER AND GLOBAL WARMING ...AND SOME OF OUR EMPLOYEES MIGHT'VE SORT OF COMMITTED SOME WAR CRIMES. YIKES! I GUESS YOU'RE GOING OUT OF BUSINESS, THEN. NAW, WE'LL JUST CHANGE OUR COMPANY NAME AND HOPE EVERYONE FORGETS WHO WE ARE. ANY SUGGESTIONS ON A NEW NAME? HOW ABOUT 'AIG'? I'M GUESSING THEY WON'T BE USING IT MUCH LONGER.



 


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