You Can't Prove They Don't Exist

9/28/2009

#86 Distance Over Time

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/09/86-distance-over-time.html
You could slow down a bit, you know. Can't! We're going to be late for work! Look, we're already late. It's 8:55 and we're still 20 miles from work. At the speed limit, we'll get there at 9:13. Assuming you can maintain 10 over the limit, you'll still only shave 2 minutes off that time. Even 20 over would get us there at 9:09. The only way we could possibly make 9:00 is to go 240mph. OK, I'll give it a shot! That's not what I meant.



 


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 9/24/2009

#85 Character Reference

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/09/85-character-reference.html
Ugh! I hate this. Writer's block? No. I've got a smiley at the end of a comment in parantheses. If I use one parenthesis, it looks like the comment doesn't end. If I use two, it looks like a double mouth. How about throwing in some spaces or periods? Multiple consecutive spaces get filtered out in HTML and periods looks like I'm drooling. OK, I've got it. and a flashlight (that's what she said :-)-|=[)



 


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 9/21/2009

#84 Sealed For Your Protection

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/09/84-sealed-for-your-protection.html
Hey, look at this. (sealed for your protection) Yeah, they put those on bottles to keep people from slipping poison into them. So? So it's drain cleaner. What could they possibly put in there that would be worse? High-fructose corn syrup?

DISCLAIMER: Just kidding about the HFCS. Ha ha. Everyone knows it's perfectly harmless and made using only pure and natural things like corn, D-xylose ketol isomerase and people. No, wait. Not people. What's that other thing? Love. Yeah, that's it. Corn, D-xylose ketol isomerase and love. No people. Honest.




 


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 9/17/2009

#83 Risk

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/09/83-risk.html




 


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 9/14/2009

#82 Remake

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/09/82-remake.html
Remake Whoosh! Flash! Head for cover! It's an F-5 tornado! Boom! Bwahahaha! Fwhoosh! They should never have let JJ Abrams do a remake of The Wizard of Oz. Why do the munchkins have jetpacks?



 


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 9/10/2009

#81 Keys

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/09/81-keys.html
My keys never seem to be where I left them. I think I must be slipping between parallel universes. I put my keys down, then slip into another universe where my alternate self has put them in a different spot. Isn't it much more likely that you just forgot where you left your keys? Wait. Did you see that? See What? This had better be a nightmare.



 


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 9/07/2009

#80 Miracle

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/09/80-miracle.html
I was just reading about a plane crash. Both wings sheared off shortly after takeoff and the plane crashed in a nearby wheat field. It's a miracle no one was seriously hurt. No, see, a miracle would be if the plane lost both wings but kept flying and landed safely at its destination. But that's impossible! Exactly.



 


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 9/03/2009

#79 Viewer Mail

http://www.treelobsters.com/2009/09/79-viewer-mail.html
Today we're going to answer some questions sent in by our viewers. Walter O'Reilly of Ottumwa, Iowa asks, 'How many tree lobsters are there?' At least three, Walter. We've never stopped to count, since we're all pretty much interchangeable. Cathy Timberlake of Upper Sandusky, Ohio asks, 'Are you male or female?' Yes, technically we must be one or the other but, for the purposes of the comic, it doesn't really matter. Just imagine whatever you're comfortable with. Kyle Reese of Los Angeles, California asks, 'Yeah but in episode 1, didn't you say you dated someone named Candice?' Sure, but that doesn't indicate gender; just preference. Also, Kyle, by mailing in a followup question to one we hadn't answered yet, you've exposed yourself as a time traveler. Those helicopters you hear in the distance are probably looking for you.



 


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